Being Soporific

new site

2009-12-11T16:04:00.001-06:00

Dear Legion of Devoted Readers,

I'm moving to a new site, danschlung.blogspot.com and shutting this suckamotha down officially effective now. Obviously, its not been updated since July anyway, so really just making it official.

I named this blog "Being Soporific" sort of on a whim, and mostly because I tend to communicate in a meandering, steram-of-conscious way that I'm sure must be quite tiresome. Then about a week later, I hated it because I thought it sounded pretentious. But since I had tens of thousands of readers I figured I'd run with it. Then, a few weeks ago, I wanted to use "soporific" in a sentence while talking with my wife, but I felt like I couldn't because it was also the name of my stupid blog that I don't update any more. There are really not a lot of times where the word "soporific" is appropriate in conversation, so i decided I'd make sure I didn't feel hesitant the next time the situation arose.

Also, I figure the new site will be a good excuse to start blogging again. Only this time, it will be so fracking awesome it will blow your face off. If you're the kind of person who is into that sort of thing, subscribe to the rss feed to get updated when it is.

Anyway, there's nothing yet on the new site, but I'm thinking I'll put something up sometime this weekend, maybe tonight if I get bored. Right now, it is tenatively named On The Couch, because that's where I tend to use the computer,as we are lacking a desk in our household. And also because I'm a huge fan of Nevil Shute. (The last part is just a joke; geez, I'm funny.) Anyway, countless throng of readers, let me know a better name and I'll probably use it.

See you there soon.
Dan

Awesome

2009-07-09T12:48:00.001-05:00

Everyone should try this. Results are very interesting & it allows you to comare to macro results submitted by other user segments. very, very cool.

Summer Trip to Phoenix (Or, Yeah, We're Nutzo)

2009-06-05T22:06:00.014-05:00

(Sarah and I planned this, then unplanned it, then planned it again, then pretty much unplanned it again.... But now we're back on, but for good this time.)

One of the really cool things about Sarah's job as a teacher and my job as a consultant with a fairly flexible work-location constraint is that the summer actually gives us a chance to venture out in world a little bit. (Or at least I think it does - this is really the first summer that we've both been settled into this situation and not had an infant to worry about.)

So here's the dilly, at least tentatively: We are going to leave Illinois around July 17th and drive out to Denver for a day or two (Anna and Kyle don't know this yet, but not to worry, guys, we're staying in a hotel), and then we're going to head out to Phoenix for a couple of weeks, at least until the 2nd, 3rd or 4th - i'm not really sure yet - to visit Sarah's family and hopefully hang out with some old friends and also attend our (I guess really just Sarah's) cousin's wedding.

I'll work full time while i'm out there, but the time difference will have me working to 3 or 4 in the afternoon at the latest, plus i'll have a couple of weekends. We'll probably swing by Denver again on our way home for couple nights and then I'll take a few vacation days to recuperate and enjoy some summer days back her in Illinois. Visiting Arizona during the middle of summer for a couple weeks should give us a quick reality check on how bad we really want to move back there when we can afford to do it (although we're not planning on basing our decision on that any more than one should base their decision to move to Chicago on a January visit...)

Anyway, I'm really excited. This will be my first time back to the Valley since Anna & Kyle got married in January of 2008. I know there are only a few people that read this, let alone a handful who live in Phoenix, but I really would love to catch up with you guys while I'm out there. Let's make plans to do so.

*Disclaimer: I guess the dates are contingent on Sarah's parents or something. I dunno. I'm just planning on it anyway & will update the dates if need be. Sarah's parents are great, great people and I love them very much but they are not the world's earliest planners.

Sarah Is Blogging Again. Woot!

2009-05-05T16:16:00.003-05:00

Yeah, Sarah!

She gets sad when no one reads her blog (even if their reason is because she hasn't posted anything in 3 months and they give up on there ever being new content there), so go check it out and comment her so she knows you're reading and keeps it up. She is going to try for a weekly update. If you can't get on her site, leave me a comment & I'll ask her to add you to her readers list.

Bring on the Zoloft!

2009-05-05T14:31:00.018-05:00

When I get stressed out, I become even more introverted than I normally am, which is why I haven't posted in a few weeks. I know that is probably the most counterproductive thing I could do, but whatever. I got the remaining good news I was hoping for today, so I feel like I can peek my head out of my shell a little bit.

Anyway, here is what I have been stressed about and how God came through for me:

1. My Job
Most folks reading this know that I work as a consultant for a large technology services company. I was originally signed on to our current client until 12/31/2009, but received a call on 4/10 that said my contract was going to be terminated early due to budget cuts (bad economy). I was told that my last day would be 4/30. In consulting, this is not necessarily a huge deal, because you can roll on to another project and usually continue life as normal. However, while the company i work for is in good financial health, I was nervous because I had seen a few people recently not able to get placed in a new project (read: they got laid off), thus this was a real possibility for me as well. However, early the next week, I received a call that I was going to be placed on a new project by 4/20. So I stopped worrying.

Then later that week I received another call that said the budget for that new project was also cut so i wasn't going to be placed there either, but that another opportunity was available. This actually ended up happening a couple times, which was a little tough on the ol' ticker. I was really starting to worry that there was a real possibility of getting either let go or reassigned to some place like Pennsylvania (thanks, but I hate the Eagles).

The days started peeling off things & were looking more and more uncertain. I was anxious to find a position before my current project was finished, becausing being non-billable (not assinged to a customer, therefore not generating revenue) is not exactly a good place to be when the economy is in the crapper. I have a good relationship with our our Operations manager and several key members of our leadership, but was told that the firm simply doesn't have the budget to hold onto non-billable resources these days, so being non-billable was not a place I wanted to end up. Unemployment + Sarah's Teacher Salary = My Bills Don't Get Paid, so it was pretty nerve-racking not knowing what we'd be facing.

On the very last day before I was supposed to get put on our "corporate deployable pool," the last step before termination, I was offered an excellent local opportunity that seemed to come out of the blue, which I gladly accepted. The work is going to be entirely different from what I was doing before. I will be a web analytics manager, whereas I was previously doing project and client management work. It will expose me to more of the business side of the company I'm contracted to (as opposed to the IT side for which i was working earlier). I'll be partnering with folks from IT and Marketing to help make the online order channels more profitable for the company & more friendly to users. There'll be a pretty decent learning curve, but I'm really excited about stepping into this new role, and the people on my new team seem extremely intelligent and friendly. It will be a great opportunity for career growth and professional development, even if don't end up doing it for the rest of my life (which I likely won't).

2. My Health
I had some routine blood work done around the same time that I found out my old job was being phased out, that returned some abnormal results. I was told there are "multiple slight abnormalities" that would require further tests. I had previously experienced some issues with my liver enzymes (which I'm sure had nothing whatsoever to do with the now-defunct "heavy drinking & eating jack-in-the-box & filiberto's every day" phase of my life), so i figured some of that stuff was resurfacing. The person who called me with the information didn't have any details to share, so i just figured I'd talk to the doctor when I went in for my follow-up blood work.

The doctor actually ended up not being in, so I didn't get to talk to her before the nurse took my blood. I was there with Addie (who was quite fascinated at watching the blood be drawn from my arm, by the way), so it probably wasn't the best environment for asking extensive questions, and I was pretty occupied with her for most of the visit. As I was about to leave, I turned and asked the nurse, "By the way, what exactly are we testing for," figuring she would tell me that it had something to do with my liver, which would not be good news, but would likely be manageable. She says, "Oh, let me see here... um, looks like you have elevated calcium and protein levels, so we just need to run some more tests to see if everything's okay."

I had to get Addie to her own appointment a town over. It was really nice outside & I was hoping to hit up the park first, so I was anxious to leave. Happy to hear that the tests had nothing to do with my liver, and thinking it didn't sound too serious, I just said, "Okay, thanks!" and headed for the door.

I didn't think about it again until the next day, when I figured, "Geez, I wonder what elevated calcium and protein mean anyway." So I asked my trusty advisor, Google McInternet, and he told me that I had cancer. Specifically, he said, "Dan, my friend, you have multiple myeloma, which is a rare and incurable cancer of blood plasma, and has a five-year mortality rate of about 70%. Maybe you'll see your daughter turn 7 or 8, if you're lucky. But yeah, that's definitely what it is and you are definitely gonna die, buddy." I mean, that is pretty much what happened, anyway.

So I slowly went into freak out mode. At first, I didn't want to worry Sarah so I tried not to think or say much about it, but it took a long time (10 days) to get my results back, which gave me a lot of time to be anxious. I won't get into all the details, but thinking seriously about your impending death is not a pleasant experience. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is markedly unpleasant.

So a few minutes ago, I get the call I have been waiting for from the doctor. I'm trembling as I answer the phone. I can barely say hello.

"Dan, this doctor Legursky's office, calling back with your test results. Everything came back normal & we just wanted to let you know."

A wave of relief rushed over me. "Oh, thank God! I had been reading on the internet that high calcium and high protein usually-"

"Oh, you really shouldn't do that," the caller interrupted. "You're totally fine."

Yeah, i guess so.

When I can't sleep, I start thinking about doing things such as

2009-04-03T23:44:00.004-05:00

...the Twitter thing (see Simple Statements, below), but I'm self-conscious I'll end up tweeting to myself, as if I don't do that already for all intents and purposes. Took me forever to get a myspace (long since abandoned), blog (rarely updated), and still haven't done the facebook thing for the same reason (in addition to two other reasons that I won't talk about presently.)

For a person who works in technology, you'd think I'd be more embrasive. (Yeah, that's right, I'm using words that aren't real.)

Simple Statements

2009-04-03T20:48:00.006-05:00

A (Christian) philosophy professor that I studied under for a semester, and a proponent of the Argument From Reason, Victor Reppert, maintains a blog that I follow. Most of the stuff he says is either over my head or at my hairline, but I enjoy his perspective, his tolerance of other ideas and his encouragement of open and intellegent discussions. He concluded a recent post with the following thought. It resonates with me on several levels.

"Maybe God doesn't want to give us demonstrative knowledge of his existence. God doesn't perform miracles to show off."

I think that, on a theological level, one could argue both for and against that statement, but in the context of his discussion, it made good sense. Anyway, it just got me thinking that, in many ways, I'm beginning to really enjoy simple, summative statements over drawn-out explanitory dissertations.

Dear Jess,

2009-04-03T20:30:00.007-05:00

I do not know you. You have a fantastic shirt that says LOVE. I think you are related to (or somehow know) my cousin-in-law's-husband (That makes sense, right?!), but you are one of 4 people who subscribe to my thoughts via RSS, thus show up as a "follower."

That is so kick ass. And no, I'm not joking.

I've been meaning to tell you that for a while. I guess this is me formally (awkwardly) saying hi.

A Song I Think Quinn Might Like

2009-04-03T20:10:00.005-05:00

Maybe others too, of course, and I could be totally wrong. This is a memory from the mid-90s: Honcho Overload, Miserable.

Listen here: http://music.yahoo.com/track/1355864
(You might have to have a yahoo account to listen to this. Its on iTunes here. Not sure why I'm using a full url for the former and an abridged link for the latter, btw.)

I still think this song is one of the most intense "songs about a girl" I've ever heard. This guy's voice is perfect for this song. Perfect. Worth 99 cents for those of you fashonistas with iPods. Be warned, the iTunes preview does not do it justice. Just spend the buck and trust me.

Word to the mother.

A Reflection on Weather & Relative Satisfaction

2009-04-02T15:40:00.012-05:00

Those of you who know me (which I would imagine is most everyone actually taking the time to read this, though I do get an occasional stranger leaving a disagreeable random comment on a "Green Bologna" post I did a year ago that I one day plan to expound upon, so I guess there are some people reading this that do not know me, but I wouldn't imagine very many, and I think most of them stumble upon that post via googling "Green Bologna" - its the 3rd result, by Jove! - anyway, so they probably aren't readers of my blog, per se, which I... ~Self-inflicted interruption/aside which should be considered personal progress:~ My lovely sister-in-law visited recently and reminded me that my longwindedness, penchant for tangents and, um, asides, tend to dampen my ability to tell a good story or convey an effective message, so I guess I should get back on task with the point of my original post ~End Aside~

Okay, reset:

Those of you who know me know that I really enjoy weather. I'm clearly not a scientist (I have but 3 credits of actual education on the subject), but I do think about it a lot, I like to witness it, understand it and I even like to track it's patterns, as evidenced by this very creepy, obsessive and utterly dorky spreadsheet I maintain. The weather too tends to do a pretty decent job of molding not just my day-to-day moods, but impacting my mid-to-long-term outlooks on a variety of different things. When I lived in Phoenix, I really let the summers beat me down. Here, outside of Chicago, the 7-month winters are plotting to literally kill me, I just know it. (Until I get a $200,000 pay-raise so I can afford to live in San Diego, I guess I just have to deal with climateological imperfection.)

I was thinking about this recently and had a repeat realization that my personal satisfaction with the weather is so relative, so fickle. In January, if the thermostat raises above 40, I will literally just diddle around the yard or in my garage just for the opportunity to experience the unseasonable mildness. Maybe it is about longing for something better that the frigid, empty winter, but I revel in it. Now it is April, and it it 50 degrees outside - 10 degrees warmer than my much-desired January day, but 10 or more degrees cooler than it could be this time of year. Now, it is not warm or "mild," it is cool and rainy and entirely undesirable. I am slower and less optimistic because of the crummy 50-degree weather we've had over the last couple of days. I think we all do this to a degree, but I am a repeat offender.

This made me wonder how many other areas of my life I succumb to relativistic enjoyment of a given situation, when in fact, were it a different season of my life - maybe even one that had just recently passed through - I would be basking in it. How many times am I not satisfied with what I have, or do I covet something "better?" How many times do I long for something, only to obtain it then long for even more? I think this is a major tendency I have, and one of the reasons I tend to need a little Zoloft every now and again.

My friend Quinn has been thinking recently about Ecclesiastes, and I'm pretty sure my friend John has the entire original Hebrew tattooed somewhere on his body that only his wife has seen. I also like to consider these writings because they are so contemplative, so perspective-oriented, so personal. Anyway, the same day that I was thinking these things about the weather and about myself, Quinn posted his reflections on having just learned he was forced into a salary cut. I am dealing with some uncertainty at work, so it hit home.

In the passage referenced, there is a line: "Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap." I thought this to be a perfect analog to both my obsession and my unhealthy tendencies, a perfect dose of reality. I spend too much time watching the wind, waiting for the clouds to lift. Foolishness! I'll steal Quinn's own closing and reuse it here. Its poignance lies in its simplicity: "I can’t help but think this book teaches that life is uncertain, but God is certain."

Properly Follow Proper Protocols

2009-03-25T15:18:00.003-05:00

This just made me laugh. I can't seem to get the video to embed, so pardon the link out:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/pragues_franz_kafka_international?utm_source=tvtheonioncom

Also, I plan on updating years 2006 - 2008 below sometime soon too.

The Past 7 Years

2009-03-12T11:20:00.004-05:00

In 2002, I received a digital camera from my parents and started taking pictures. Not much in terms or quality or even quantity, but enough to fill up a decent chunk of space on my hard drive and serve as catalysts for a few decent memories.

A little while ago, we told someone we know that she could have a computer that has been sitting idly in our back room for the last two years. Obviously, I wanted to make sure I pulled important documents, tax returns, and, of course, pictures off the computer before we gave it away. I loaded those to my laptop and realized that, combined with some more recent photos, I possess a photographic anthology of a decent chunk of the time I've spent here on this planet.

So, I was looking through the photographs a few nights ago and thought it might be fun to post a few here, by year, as sort of an abridged documentation of the last several years of my life. The posts below this one do just that. I know I tend to be wordy and decided it would be fun to limit myself to a maximum of 5 words do describe each picture.

I'll probably do a few at a time to get to 2008. It takes a while to sort through the pictures.

Disclaimer: I am a very sporadic picture-taker, so some key events are undoubtedly missing.

Here goes...

2002

2009-03-12T11:00:00.002-05:00

Lived here with 7 others:

Had a proper ghetto porch:

Complete with our own graffiti:

Where I drank a lot...

...and smoked a lot too...

...but didn't do much cooking:

The backyard wasn't a retreat:

The top two were true:

Needed to make a change:

Called up this girl:

Started going here*

*Okay, i didn't actually take this picture, but who takes a picture of their church?

Leared a lot from him:

2003

2009-03-12T10:01:00.023-05:00

I done fell in love

Moved in with Quinn, John:

Tied the knot:
Came with an amazing mother-in-law:

...and father-in-law,

... and siblings (2/4 shown below):

...and a great new nephew:

Aunt Sue was gracious

She gave us a deal:

A good start at 5205...

We even had a pool!

College Briefing with new friends:

John sinning (notice the book*):

(*He is reading the Book of Baruch, if you cannot see it clearly. Yeah, i'm just joking about the sin thing, don't worry.)

These two just started dating:

So did they:
"Bradellgen bottles" were the rage:

Sarah tried to be crafty:

My friends joined a gang:

Nice living near Suarago Ranch:

Enjoyed our first Christmas married:

2004

2009-03-12T08:00:00.011-05:00

Sarah's chronic illness, pain accelerated

But she tried to persevere

Sarah made bee cookies:

...For Chirsty's bridal shower:

Me & Evan, Spencers' wedding:

There were also pretty girls:

Inexplicably proud of this poppie:

Stormy weather brought heat relief:

Finally gonna eat that cake:

Our only real vacation to-date:

Know what's in Jennie's bag?

With Andrew at McClaritys' wedding:

Dad took this in AZ...

... As I neglected its beauty...

...How'd I miss it?

Sarah's first teaching gig:

Love,

An I-17 Semi Truck

Sarah's prized car was toast:

Second crash weeks later, sued*

*I should clarify that we got sued, not sued somebody.

Paid $85 for the Boo:

Humped the hell outta this:

Depressed, hasty geographical decisions develop*

*Still sorry, Sarah.

Christmas in IL this year:

2005

2009-03-12T07:30:00.006-05:00

(Note: some of the time-stamped pictures below have incorrect dates due to the camera settings.)

Wrapped up community college

Friends started having kids

Final Visit to Last Chance

Moved from Phoenix to Illinois

Sarah stayed behind a few weeks*

*This one gets 6 words on account of the strange blue hue in the photograph throwing me for loop

Illinois: Major change of scenery

Lived with my Mom

...And Dad (longer than planned)

...Outside a little country town

Sarah is a good wife

It was a hard adjustment

<>

Chicago for our 2nd Anniversary

Mom doesn't believe in AC

Anna visited Sarah, Sarah rejoiced

Solo camping, got bored, lonely:

Looking to buy home: Woodstock

Got one, after some complications:

2005:$170k; 2009: $150k. Ugh.

Sent Sarah home for Christmas

Surprise for her, her family

Sarah misses her family deeply

By Yer Bootstraps

2009-03-12T00:01:00.002-05:00

Winter is hard on me. I need to pull myself up.

I've struggled on an off with depression for a good chunk of the last 15 or so years of my life. For the most part, I've learned to deal with it, but the Midwest winters are long and deep, and can be debilitating. Between the three of us, the last 6 and a half weeks have been filled with constant sickness. I haven't been sleeping well at all. I am not tired, I am exhausted. The economy is shit and I wonder if my job is secure, if my wife's job is secure. Like so many people we know, we are 2 paychecks away from God only knows what. I've been stuck inside four walls for the last 4 months or so, anticipating the next opportunity to walk the neighborhood with my wife. It is 12 degrees outside now, and I wonder if at least that part will end soon.

In a flower bed outside my house this morning, I was reminded that it will.

I used to have a soundtrack but don't anymore

2009-02-23T22:25:00.022-06:00

I know i should post something meaningful soon. It's just, I'm having a hard time right now, okay? Ugh.

So whatever. Meaninglessness it is...

Here's a song I really liked during my teens and early twenties (here's the lyrics). Still gets me pretty amped when I hear it (people probably don't say "amped," huh?), so whatever that is worth. Here's another and lyrics which, yeah, also explains a lot. And more, lyrics. And more. Think these guys read Zinn? More than that, friends. These guys roast their vegan hotdog substitutes over bonfires of burning, organicly certified, fair-trade acquired, soy ink-dyed canadian flags with one hand, while their other hand's middle finger is raised in salute to the war-mongering nation states they abhore.

I make no warranty to the moral validity and/or turpitude of the aforementioned songs. And you definitely have to take them with a quarter-cup or so of salt. Funny thing though: these guys are about as anti-religion as any band could get (they are anti-every establishment, so at least they don't discriminate there), but 90% of their stated worldview alligns pretty well with most of the Christians I consider friends... Er, well, maybe a little less than that. (I'm not sure i know a single Christian who finds it necessary to take efforts to spelly human, "humyn," as to not imply female subordination.) Anyway, what other bands sing about the ills of ingrained patricentricity, pre-teen McCarthyist indoctrination, and such anti-capitalist sentiments as "nailing Descartes to the wall?" Hot dang... I'm pretty well beyond that teen angst phase in my life, and but I still like these guys a gosh-darn-heck-of-a-lot every now and again.

These songs make me want to go buy a guitar and start playing agian, even if they are not much more than 4 chords and a few simple riffs. So, yeah... go Propagandhi. Go 1990's Canadian Leftist Punk Rock. Go revisiting your soundtrack from 10 years ago for no reason other than you can sleep. Whoopie.

Dan

Dear Friends and Family in Phoenix and Denver,

2009-02-10T11:49:00.004-06:00

You guys should totally move to Chicago. It is beautiful here in February.

In other news, I turned 30 yesterday and I guess that's supposed to feel significant (it does sound older). I was thinking I would surely have a blog come out of that somewhere, but nope. I don't think I have much to say about it.

Sacrifice Your Marriages, Folks.

2009-01-21T10:59:00.006-06:00

Okay I promise to do a more substantive post sometime soon. But for now:

Sometimes the pictures that newspapers choose to go with an article don't make any sense at all, as evidenced in today's Northwest Herald, where Obama's call to universal sacrifice is coupled with a picture of him staring lovingly at his wife.

Obama's Official Presidential Photo

2009-01-16T10:16:00.003-06:00

...was released today and features our next leader wearing an American Flag lapel pin. Thank God in heaven.

Yeah, Those are "Minus" Signs Down There

2009-01-16T08:00:00.003-06:00

When I moved to the Chicago area from Phoenix a few years back, I made light of the midwest winters, positing they were equal in discomfort to the Phoenix summers. Now I remember. They are worse. (Er, at least its Sunny...)

Spotted at My Wife's Place of Employment

2009-01-09T14:20:00.002-06:00

No wonder there are substantial racial issues in that town.

Huh?

2008-12-18T08:19:00.003-06:00

Theoneste Bagosora, one of the military leaders responsible for the deaths of 500,000+ people in Rwanda in the mid 1990s was just convicted of "genocide, crimes against humanity and war crimes." He was sentenced to life in prison. This raises a a moral dilemma for me.

As a rule, I am against the death penalty. When it boils down to it, as a Christian, I feel more comfortable leaving the lives of individuals in the hands of a God capable of carrying out perfect justice. I do not trust our justice system with the taking of one's life, and essentially believe that even one mistake in a thousand "right" convictions cannot justify the wrongful taking of life of an innocent person. I know a lot of people fall on the other side of the line on this issue, and that's fine, but this is where I stand and I'm pretty adamant about it. I believe life and death are just to important to play numbers games.

But this guy was responsible for the murders of a half-million people, and there's essentially no question about that fact. Is life in prison really justice? There is a carnal part of me that wants this guy to die, a part that is impatient for final justice and that does not want this man to have time on this earth to seek redemption or recconciliation. I'm not pround of this part of me, but it has become present in my mind this morning.

Slump

2008-12-12T23:02:00.002-06:00

I haven't read any books in about a month and a half. I am in a book reading slump.

(Shortest post yet, I think.)

Curse You, First Snow!

2008-12-01T15:44:00.003-06:00

When I was a kid, I always looked forward to the first "real" snow of winter, where the snow stuck to and covered the grass and they actually had to send out plows to clear the roads. It brought about possibility of a "snow day" off of school, and hopes for a White Christmas. I would imagine sledding and snow forts and hot chocolate. It seemed... fun.

Nowadays, the first snow just means I have to wake up early to shovel the driveway.

Our Quest for a Christmas Card Picture

2008-12-01T14:58:00.010-06:00

On Saturday, Sarah and I set out to get a picture of Addie suitable for use on a Christmas Card. I suggested that we take her down to our town square, which has a nice "Christmas-y" look to it, complete with Victorian-era buildings, cobblestones and lots of Christmas lights. Since I know Addie loves to run around and look at the lights, I figured we'd get an easy smile from her, and we'd be on our way.

Addie did not cooperate.

After a few half-hearted attempts in the park, we decided to take her into the Opera House, where the community room is set up with dozens of Christmas Trees, each put together by a local organization or business. Addie loved them. LOVED them. We set her down, and she was off! "Trees! Treeeeeees!" She shrieked, while running around the rooms almost non-stop for about 15 minutes. When a group of tourists came in we decided, we'd best not disturb them. This is the closest thing I got to an in-frame picture of her in the opera house, as she dashed by me like a mad-girl.

Next, we thought we'd go back to the park in the middle of the square so she could look at all the light up trees. She really likes lit up trees, and even more so, she likes the freedom to run about unencumbered by walls. The few times we were able to get her to stop running and look at the camera, the pictures turned out pretty funny, like this one:

And this one:

One thing about Addie is that she is crazy. She loves to do dangerous stuff and go fast and be swung around - that sort of thing. Only, I'm pretty sure it is at a level that most other kids would find terrifying. Anyway, I told Sarah that I had the perfect plan: I would run around the park with Addie on my shoulders to get her hyped up and smiling. Then, I would run from the top of this big gazebo/bandstand, jump off the last two steps, and when I made my landing Sarah would be well-positioned to take the perfect snapshot of Addie experiencing pure jubilation. Below, I'm getting ready to start running with her and practicing my Hunchback of Notre Dame pose:

She loves running really fast:

And she loved the jump at the end:

But we still had a hard time getting a good picture. So we did it again. A few more times. Addie had a lot of fun, but we didn't end up with anything usable.

In one final attempt, we had her looking in store windows at the different Christmas displays. But she thought we were playing hide and seek. She looked really cute, but still wouldn't give us anything worthy of the front of a Christmas card.

Finally, we gave up. It was time to go to church and we spent about an hour taking a lot of pictures, but still don't have anything for a Christmas card. So, if you don't receive one from us this year, please know that we tried.

"You Have Stats and Facts to Backup your Stance"

2008-11-25T12:09:00.003-06:00

I'm on a quick lunch break right now, so this will be short and sweet:

Yesterday, three Hispanic men robbed a jewelry store in the town where I live. This was reported in our local newspaper, since, of course, it was a crime. As is typical in my town (and I guess across the nation, to a large extent), the racists, xenophobes, protectionists and ignorant jumped all over this in the comments section, and pointed to this as an example about how illegal immigrants were ruining our collective lives. Typically, I ignore these sorts of things because trying to talk sense into a person who accuses you of electing a "house negro" (this person's comment was thankfully quickly reported and deleted by the editors) because of your stance on immigration policy is usually not very fruitful.

But since this week's been pretty slow due to the coming holiday, and because I'm so sick of the prevailing racism here, I decided to leave a few comments before logging in to start work this morning. I checked in again on my lunch a few minutes ago and added a few more comments in response to some of the things that were being said, and ultimately concluded that this sort of conversation would be a lot more fun and productive over a beer than over a newspaper blog, so I decided to call it a day. Before I did, I was surprised to find this comment from someone who I essentially had been arguing with, aimed back at me:

" Dan-I give you credit, you have stats and facts to backup your stance. I
respect that. I am just going by what I know and what I see. So you have one up
on me there."

I think, more than anything, this is what is so frustrating to me about people's railing against illegal immigrants: they do so without facts and, therefore, without logic. People make huge assumptions regarding the supposed "burden to our nation" and are quick to say, "illegal is illegal - case closed," but they never stop to actually examine the issues and study the actualities. People "go by what they see," which is so often myopic and skewed, and quite frankly, dangerous.

I wish there were some way to impart the truth about immigrantion policy to the masses. I don't see the situation getting any better, just as it hasn't gotten any better over the last several hundred years that the same false arguments have persisted. Our politicians and leaders have failed us in this regard.

I just feel frustrated about this.

Seattle's Best?

2008-11-19T07:24:00.005-06:00

This morning, I have a sneaking suspicion that the Emerald City must certainly have something better to offer than this, because this is pretty bad:

T-Minus 90 Minutes

2008-11-17T22:27:00.007-06:00

Until Sarah's 29th Birthday! (Sarah doesn't like me to take or publish pictures of her, so instead of her lovely mug, I present you with Fabolous, a gentleman who was also born on 11/18/1979, but who appears to have experienced considerable more financial success than Sarah has over the course of the past 29 years.

Next comes 24 hours of celebration, endless Joy, druidic chanting of her name, riots in in the streets of Long Beach, California, and the incessant rooting by countless Sarah fans for the Chicago Bears to beat the Vikings this coming Sunday. (Sarah LOVES the Bears, for those of you who didn't know.)

Go, Sarah! You almost made it! (Not that we would know that since you don't ever update your blog anymore or anything.)

Happy birthday, beautiful Wife!

A "Bailout" Plan That Might Actually Work

2008-11-13T09:09:00.010-06:00

I have been thinking for some time now that they best way to pull our country out of its current recession and into a prolonged economic expansion would be to realign a decent (read: 5-10% of our $13+ trillion GDP, not merely a token amount) of our spending and other resources to focus on the development and installation of clean, renewable energy. Assuming we could, within the next 5-10 years, crank out (or import) enough highly educated engineers & scientists and business leaders to invent, enhance and promote the technologies, and establish a government that pushes forth a real green-energy agenda, this could have enormous impacts up and down the American socio-economic ladder. Such a movement, with the government sparking the impatus for growth and promoting economies of scale while the initative got off the ground, would allow the market to run its course, realigning folks in fledgling American industries that now better run by foreigners (the auto industry, for one) into more prescient and enduring American jobs.

Since the infrastructure and agencies would essentially be localized (e.g. much work could not be outsourced), it would mean a tremendous amount of local job creation, that would, presumably, create a lot of middle-class incomes. Literally, it could develop into the next economic boom cycle, but with the potential to be sustained on a massive, local scale. Green energy is no longer just for hippies and well-wishers, but could literally be the saving grace that allows our country to move forward and once again establish itself as an leader in terms of both economic performance and innovation. Ultimately this would lead to the creation of jobs, the reenergization of consumer spending, the generation of tax revenues (which ultimately allow our country to implement social welfare programs), ween us from our dependency of foreign resources (which some posit as a security issue as well), and allow companies to export our technologies to other nations, among many other probable benefits. And, oh yeah... it would be good for our environment too.

To me, this seems like such an obvious solution to so many of our problems, that I'm absolutely dumbfounded there isn't a more intense quickening amongst our population to move in that direction. From what I gather listening to politicians, this seems like a secondary agenda item, and the economy at large is treated separately. Why isn't anyone making a more focused connection between the two, while further pronouncing the secondary and tertiary benefits of what might be considered a Green Revolution? Perhaps, instead of focusing a trillion-plus dollars bailing out banks and insurance companies (who failed in the open market, as, due to their own actions, they ought to have), why not redirect that money into something more lasting, which would have a long-term economic (and ecological) impact, perhaps far greater than anything our country has ever seen. This could be a Apollo Mission of sorts for the present age, but catalyzed by the government and delivered by the free market.

So, I guess not surprisingly, I came to find out today that all of this has pretty much been said before, albeit in a much more pronounced and supported manner. I received an email this morning from the publishers of Thomas Freidman's newest book (which apparently is a best seller already, that I somehow inadvertently ignored previously), Hot, Flat and Crowded. Based on the subtitle, Freidman uses this book to posit "Why We Need a Green Revolution--and How It Can Renew America." I'll pick it up and read based on the byline alone, but I wonder if any anyone reading this blog has already had a chance to read the book, and if so, what did you think of it?

If you have time, the email also provides a link to a video of a lecture Freidman gives on the subject, which can be downloaded here. It is about 1h 15m long, so I didn't get a chance to listen to it before work this morning, but I certainly plan on doing so over the next couple of days.

Well, Addie Pooped in the Tub Last Night

2008-11-12T10:39:00.001-06:00

I guess most kids do this at some point or another, but man, it was really sick. Sarah saved the day.

I'm Feeling Frustrated About My (Present Lack of) Educational Endeavors

2008-11-11T08:10:00.007-06:00

One of the things that I really want to be part of my life is to be involved in some sort of semi-continuous formal education. Not necessarily the pursuit of another academic degree, per se (that is a related, but somewhat separate goal), but I really wanted to be one of those people who is always enrolled in some class or another - a person who studies history, philosophy, language, science, religion, mathematics, sociology and economics, merely for the pure pleasure of learning.

For the last several years, I have been quite stagnant in this regard, and there are some credible reasons that this is true. I was planning on taking the GMAT and applying at some local schools to start a part-time (evening) MBA program right around the time that we found out Sarah was pregnant with Addie. That caused use to hit pause on that plan, which now feels more like I hit the stop button instead. Of course, having Addie has been an absolute delight and I absolutely love having a family and being a dad, but the responsibilities - both financial (In addition to the cost of raising a child, Sarah took a year off of work that we are still paying back) and the time required (what used to be free time is now family time), have left me will little resources for myself. That sounds whinier that my intention: What I mean to say is, I don't have the time or money to do school right now.

I know that learning is something that can (and does) occur in any setting, and to that point, I make sure that I am always reading something, always asking questions, always performing analysis, to continue to learn. And I know that I could use the time that I do have to self-study, or to take online courses (if I had the money), but what I really miss is the formalized, yet personal, communicative nature of being a student. I miss lectures (I hands-down learn best by listening, even though I very much so enjoy reading) and staying after class to ask a professor to expound upon an idea, or to ask a question I came across while reading a text. I miss writing papers and researching sources, and getting feedback and critique from someone who is an expert on the subject matter. I feel like I haven't had one of those "eureka" moments - where a truth or a concept or a connection leaps from the mud in the back of your mind to absolute clarity and meaning - in an awful long time. I want to feel again like my academic mind - my intelligence, my understanding - is maturing.

I would like to take classes again because, perhaps, I'm one of the few people who appreciates the formality and the syllabi, the feeling that, if I apply myself, by x date I will possess y knowledge and/or z ability. While I am quite capable of learning on my own, I know that I also do well when held to a standard, when I know my work is subject to scrutiny and my achievements will be quantified. Hell, I enjoy it. I like knowing that something I do will be assessed and graded. I like the piece of paper that says: "Hey, you did it, and you did it well." I know that probably makes me really lame or whatever, but it is, in part, who I am.

But right now it is most important that I be content with where I am. I have a good job (thank God) in a time where many are struggling. I have a beautiful, intelligent wife, who challenges me (in a positive way) and encourages me, and crazy little daughter who lights up my world. Life is not bad; rather, the opposite is true. I could try to force something, and honestly, if I pressed hard enough I think Sarah would let me go back to school now, but I think doing so would be irresponsible presently. Even when we are more financially stable and Addie is a little older, I have a pretty good feeling that Sarah is going to get a chance to go back before I do, as its all but required for her career development, and not a pressing "real" need for me - and that is something that I need to be okay with. I guess I'm just saying that, someday, I really want to get back to this part of me that feels like it is missing, this stimulus that I thoroughly enjoy.

Have you ever been...

2008-11-10T15:07:00.009-06:00

in an extended and somewhat intensely contemplative mood, but unsure about what exactly it is you ought to be contemplating? That's me right now. There' probably a word for that. (I hope its not "crazy.")

Below, Addie is deeply contemplating the caloric implications of her decision:

Back to Real November

2008-11-06T09:40:00.004-06:00

This evil SOB of a cold-front/storm is about to take Woodstock & the rest of Chicagoland back to normal temperatures. We've had a week of sunny, 65-72-degree weather, which is almost unheard of here in November. But after this motha hits me in about 6 minutes, we're back down into the 40's for the foreseeable forcast, and the impending winter once again becomes a reality. Booooo!

What the World Expects

2008-11-05T07:14:00.002-06:00

...at least according to BBC Correspondents. This is an easily-digested nation-by-nation summary that attempts to gage the general popular sentiment and/or likely foreign relations impacts of select countries, now that Obama is our President-Elect. There are obviously a lot of different resources out there to be consulted, but I was just looking at different perspectives of the Election outcome before work this morning & thought I'd pass this along due to its succient nature.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7708238.stm

Not Quite Being There

2008-11-04T18:41:00.023-06:00

I worked downtown today and figured I'd take a half-hour lunch to stroll over to Grant Park, where Obama was scheduled to have an election night rally (which will more than likely also be his victory party here in just a few hours). Besides, it was a beautiful day here in Chicago, with 72* temperatures, a soft breeze and not a cloud in the sky, which is highly unusual for November 4th. I figured I'd take a few pictures to encapsulate the soon-to-be historic day, though they are all from my cellphone so not the highest quality or resolution. Since I had a family (and a pan of homemade lasagna) to come home to, I couldn't stick around 8 hours for the main event. Clearly, this is not an "I was there" in the moment Obama was elected type of story, but I thought it was kind of cool nonetheless.

Chicago had a very present buzz about it all day today. When I was walking to work, a school bus full of children drove by with kids literally hanging out the windows enthusiastically shouting "Obama! Obama!" When I went down to Grant Park, almost everyone I overheard was talking about the election. People were taking pictures just like I was; one guy with a distinct African accent even had me take a picture of him with his arms around a local cop. Whatever you think about Obama (I myself have concerns about a lot of his polocies, but still think he'll make a better leader than McCain,and I assume his actual government style will be more centerist that the populist he campaigns as), you can't deny that he has brought an unusual amount of energy to the political system.

For all the security issues that could manifest themselves, I was surprised that there weren't more police present. I guess there has to be a line between protection and police state, but really I guess I just thought I'd run into a lot more cops. Not that they weren't there, of course. This guy, who laughed and said he didn't want his picture taken, also sternly reminded me that I wasn't allowed to go into the park.

Although I pretty much already had figured that out on my own from the omnipresent chain-link fencing and baricades.

They did decide to let this unmarked SUV by, however. The officer told me they were with the bomb squad, so I didn't complain.

Anyway, here's all I could see from my vantage on the outside. You can see a stage in the distance, a few hundred yards from where I was standing, but this is is the secondary gathering area. The main location is just south of here, and as I'm sure you'll all see on TV, it is generally more "decked out," but I obviously didn't have access to that area and couldn't get a clear picture off my Blackberry, even though I could see it in the distance.

Below is another view that I took through the chain-link that got washed out by the sun, but you can just barely see where a stage is being set up if you squint your eyes (its about 4 o'clock from the Sears Tower.)

North, just a bit is a pavillion at Milenneum park, where people will also be assembling, though it isn't part of the "official" rally area. There were a few people relaxing on the lawn and a lot of people just looking around like me. There was a lot of anticipation in the air, and its really hard to convey that in either pictures or words.

As would be expected, there were also a ton of news crews from all over the world that were camped out just about everywhere. I think because we're used to seeing their heads displayed 25+ inches in our living rooms, news people always look so small to me in real life.

Finally, since I felt somewhat like I tourist, I figured I'd take a requisite Bean photo before heading back to the office.

Shards of Thought

2008-10-26T20:33:00.015-05:00

So I obviously haven’t made a blog post in the last few months, so this is mostly just a bunch of random thoughts. Due to lack of creative juices presently flowing, I stole the title of this post from my friend Christy. She likes Pandora a lot.

Anyhoo… on to my preferred numbered means of catching up:

1. Flavor Lock: Back before Sarah's first paycheck came in, we were living on the ultra-cheap, which meant buying horrible coffee (amongst many other things), usually whatever was cheapest at Walmart. (We still buy horrible most things, but coffee is one thing I allow myself to splurge on.) I took this picture because I thought it was funny and ridiculous at the same time. Maxwell House is calling their lid a "Flavor Lock." (And their entire package a "Flavor Lock Canister.") Thus, they have decided to rename something ordinary into something that sounds extraordinary, which obviously is fairly common practice in marketing. But c'mon, its a lid, not a Flavor Lock. I just thought this was a funny example of creative licence run amok.

2. Wally-World: Speaking of Walmart, on the advice of my sister-in-law, I watched Walmart: The High Cost of Low Prices, and was underwhelmed. I have to admit that a pretty big part of me (the cynic that is permenantly stationed near the core of my being) really of wanted to watch this movie and hate Walmart afterward. But I actually ended up finding myself running to their defense on more than one occasion (there is also a fairly sizable free-market economist that understands macroeconomics that is occupying another dark corner of my soul). I mean, I understand the argument against them: that they are a heartless juggernaut hellbent on ruling the earth by undercutting wages and exploiting world markets. I've heard it countless times before, and there is some validity to that argument for sure. But this film offered nothing new, and was plainly uninspiring. I felt the production was uncreative, the presentation beyond trite, and the conclusion overwhelmingly slanted (it made Michael Moore films look unbiased, and Fox News actually look fair and balanced). I have to honestly say one of the worst documentaries I have seen. Sorry, Anna, but while I almost always find myself agreeing with you, I can't this time. At least we still have our shared love of Aunt Sue's cookie dough buckets.

3. Obama: I'm pretty (~80%) sure that I am going to vote for Obama, but I'm getting more that sick of everyone treating this guy like he is Jesus. This guy's not getting you into heaven, people. Don't be so foolish as to place all your hopes in a man.

4. Both of these Candidates: Both of these guys are pissing me off with their insistence that they must constantly bullshit me and talk in prepared bullets, never straying from the course. Their doing so is a precise reflection of the fact that the American populace is uneducated about certain fundamental truths about the world/reality that we live in. We're too often willing to sing the praises of which ever candidate bakes the best-smelling pie, no matter how toxic the ingredients should we actually get around to tasting it. I opine that neither is - when it all boils down - much differnet than the other, and I honestly in my heart don't think that either has much of a chance of being markedly better than the other as president. But as I mentioned I'm pretty sure I won't vote for McCain, if for no other reason than the Sarah Palin choice, which as my wife pointed out demonstrates a profound lack of judgement. Regardless, I am very frustrated that the American Public (on average), is so apt to buy into each candidate's hype, and as such that we collectively allow these fools to pander to us.

5. Its the Economy, Stupid: Right? So here is the deal: Almost (not all, but almost all) all of the major issues that actually impact the average American public are, at heart, economic issues (Immigration, Poverty, Jobs Creation, War [to a large extent], Social Services, etc.) Even issues that are not ostensibly economic issues such as abortion rights and education are underwritten by large economic catalyst and/or implications. Yet, most voters could not pass an Econ. 101 test, yet we collectively make enormous economic decisions vis a vis the people we elect. I wish micro and macro economics courses were federally mandated at the High School level, and while our bureaucrats are concocting standardized tests that measure raw skills such as mathematics, why not incorporate some economics, so that at least they are measuring aptitude in something that has real world implications?

Anyway, you probably don't share my views on this, but there is a good book you should read that expounds on this idea. Specifically, the author dispells four biases that the average American has that cause him to misunderstand the economy: anti-foreign bias, make-work bias, anti-market bias and anti-optimistic bias (if I remember correctly). You can do a wiki-search to get a pretty decent outline of his arguments if you don't have time to read the book. Be forewarned: In the last chapter, the author fails to present any practical solution to the issues he has laid out, and presents himself as somewhat arrogant throughout. Oh, and I think he is actually a capitalistic anarchist, which I definitely am not (I see the government playing a very important role in regulating markets, something both Bush & Clinton failed to do leading up to our current financial mess). Nevertheless, the core ideas the author presents still have a lot of validity, and its all backed up with emperical data, which is super-awesome if you are as nerdy as me. I realize it might be hard to believe that after all I just said, but honest, its true.

If you'd prefer something from a little bit less of a nutjob, I suggest Economic Facts and Fallacies, by Thomas Sowell (or anything else by Sowell for that matter.) He offeres a different perspective, and offers eye-opening insights into the world we live in, all based on tried and tested theory. Those of you in Education might also check out his writings on that topic, though I can't myself say that I've read them.

So, my question/challenge to you is, do you actually understand the fundementals of our economy? If not, why? This topic holds an extraordinary importance on the decisions that are being made all around us, probably more so that any other single issue, and sheds bright light on our history. I implore you to educate yourself on economics if you are not already so educated. Its not just math, but a lot of social science too, and is a lot more fun than you might imagine

6. Really?: Why do we always seem to have to choose between Lawyers and a War Heros? Ugh. These are the most qualified people for the job? Okay, I'm done with the negativity now.

7. My Pretend Fantasy-World President/Monarch Would, Among Other Things:

Be a trained economist who possesses a simulaneous heart for the poor and and a realization that business is far from a detriment to our society's overall well-being. He/she would talk honestly to America about the global economic reality, and how we must change to succeed in it, not pander to populist ideals that ane impractical or downright damaging on a macro level.
Be vehemently opposed to the war in Iraq, and to war in general, and slice the military budget so that it can be reallocated elsewhere.
Declare universal and immediate amnesty for all undocumented immigrants, open the boarders making it cheap, quick and easy to become an American, expand H1b visas, mend or broken foreign relationships, and essentially abhor things like protectionism and nationalism
Make free the right for all Americans to become college educated, and make illegal the concept of localized education funding which blatantly promotes the segregation of quality of resources amongst socioeconomic classes. I know education is not a panacea, but I do think that the strength of our country to be able to compete in a global market is largely dependant on our ability to understand the world in which we live. Obviously, a lot of talk goes into expanding our engineering and computer science grad output, but a liberal arts education should not be neglected, and infact the aforementioned topics should be intertwined with history and language skills, among other non-science topics. Generally, I would like to see our educational goals more closely mirror those described by Friedman in The World is Flat, but somehow (magically, perhaps) with out all of the BS that comes with No Child Left Behind. Maybe this president would employ John as Secretary of Education to figure that one out.
Nationalize Health Care. Yup, I said it. I'm a bit of a paradox in that I very strongly support the concept of free markets on one hand, but on the other hand, I feel it is our government's responsibility to protect its citizenry. Allowing even a single citizen to be without adequate healthcare in this day and age borders on sin. The way our government presently promotes healthcare as a profit-making venture is sin, so far as I am concerned. Some things must be off-limits to capitalism. And yes, I understand the capitalism=high prices=incentive argument when it comes to the development new technologies and pharmacuticals, but there must be some alternate means of moving forward.
Abolish the Postal Service. I know the funding doesn't come from the general budget, and that expenditures are funded separately from taxes, but you know, do we really still need the government to deliver our mail? there are capable competitors, and the service should be auctioned off. I obviously don't really care deeply about this issue, I just though I'd throw that one in there to prove that I really don't think everything should be nationalized. So there.

8. A Few Honest Questions About Soldiers: Retracted! After talking with Sarah last night after going to bed, I realized that, while I firmly agree with the assertion I laidout, it brought about little profitability to do so, and was therefore not worth publishing at this time. Thus, this section has been retracted from my previous post, which saves you about 500 words worth of diatribal reading. My questions might be better suited for a dialog with a few select people. Too bad that won't happen anytime soon :(

9. Holy Moley, This Has Been Too Serious: Yikes, this really degenerated pretty quickly into a bunch of little diatribes. My apologies. This has become drivel, which no one wants to read. Postscript: While I think this still holds true, it might make more sense had I not retracted #8, above.

10. Okay, Back to Something More Fun: What is your favorite ice cream? For me it is a tie between cookie dough and moose tracks. My favorite candy bar is Butterfinger. By far.

11. I'm Reading a Good Book Right Now: Let Them In: The Case for Open Borders. I like facts and figures, it is one of my downfalls. This book has plenty of them and pointedly answers several key points that anti-immigration proponents often make. Interesting Note: The author is a conservative member of the Wall Street Journal editorial board, and he makes some arguments you might not necessarily expect from someone with his pedigree.

12. This is the Last One, for Now...: One of the things I've always (well not always, but as long as I can remember) wanted to do is to write a novel. Here are a few reasons I have not to this point done so:

Fear of failure/rejection. This is definitely the biggest reason. No risk = no reward, I know. Dad, I love you but I think you must have passed along this very special trait to me and overcoming it has been a struggle.
I take poorly to criticism of things that I write. See #1 for underlying reason.
I have an idea, but I don't know how to make it interesting to people.
I'm overly-consumed with things like tying readers emotionally to characters, and making some poignant and prudent underlying "point." This shifts my focus away from developing a good story.
I don't really know where or how to start.
I'm afraid I won't finish.
I'm afraid my wife won't like it, or will think it is not good. This might be my single biggest fear. Now she knows.
I am a good academic and business writer, but I don''t feel I am a very good story teller. There is a big difference. Part of my problem I think is that I tend to read a disproportinate amount of non-fiction. (Why do I not then write non-fiction? I will as soon as I figure out a) what I know better than other, and b) how to say it in a manner that hasn't already been done well, and c) I possess the educational background that magically makes me qualified to do so.)

13. Okay, I lied: One last thing to make it a baker's dozen. I really miss having philosophical, intelligent, and generally nerdy friends. Right now, especially.

Happy 1st Birthday to My Baby Girl

2008-08-28T07:38:00.032-05:00

Addie,

This morning, when you woke up and your Mom went to get you from your crib, I could tell you were in a really good mood. You usually wake up happy and talkative and with substantially more energy than me and your mom put together, even after splitting a pot and a half of coffee. But today, when I heard Mommy walk into your room and say, “Happy Birthday!” and you squealed and replied, “Hap-PY Bfft-daaaa!” I felt a surge of energy rush through me that beats what the biggest, best cup of coffee could ever do.

Then the tears started coming.

I know, I know… it doesn’t seem an apt moment for crying, but I was overcome with emotion and it just happened. I’m just so happy that you get to be my daughter, and I’m so proud of you and I love you so much. I wasn’t able to contain all those feelings for a minute or two this morning, so I had to lay there and smile and let the tears run their course before I was able to get out of bed and say “Happy Birthday!” to you too. And I’m so glad I did. You gave me that smile that you’ve given me a thousand times already, but that always gets better each time you grace me with it. Today’s smile was by far the best yet, so thanks, Baby Girl.

Anyway, since it is your birthday, and you’re now way bigger and smarter and funnier and cooler than I could have ever imagined a year ago today when your Momma brought you into this world, I wanted to take a few minutes before I started work this morning to dote on you a little bit. I know it won’t mean anything to you now, but I hope that someday it will. Maybe one day when you’re older (a day which will undoubtedly come too fast for me), and you’re feeling frustrated by your parents or abandoned by your friends or sad about a boy, or you’re just plain overwhelmed by this imperfect world, you’ll find occasion to look back on this and it will remind you of how special and wonderful and meaningful you are. That’s my lofty ambition, anyway

So here are some things I really like about you, Addie – in no particular order, and by no means an exhaustive list:

You’re so inquisitive. You see everything as something to be tasted, thrown, smelled, pushed, kicked, hugged, kissed, or talked to. From what I understand, most babies are like that to some extent, but its such a huge and hilarious part of who you are, than I couldn’t not mention it. When you get on a roll, you have this automatic thing that you do with your tongue and the roof of your mouth that me and Momma call your “exploratory click.” It has become one of the many funny things that define your personality. You’ll run off to another room, just out of our sight, and we’ll just hear, “thiuk, thiuk, thiuk…” and we know you’re on the lookout for something new and exciting to discover.

Speaking of running, you are really fast! But it’s not just that - everything you do is fast. Literally from the first days of your life we had a pretty good idea that you would be a quick little girl. You were always kicking your tiny little legs and making all these funny little noises, even when you slept. Everyone who knew you would always remark about how when you started doing something, whether it be crawling, walking, talking, or whatever, you would go at it full-speed. And we were right! You were walking by 9 ½ months, and when you’re Grandma and Grandpa Eike visited you when you 11 months, we counted over 30 different words you could say. You are so eager to try new things and learn about the world around you. Just don't grow up too fast, okay?

You are such a happy baby. I have to admit that, for the first few months of your life, when you were colicky and difficult to soothe, I was a little nervous that you might have a somewhat complicated disposition. I couldn’t have been further from the truth. You are the definition of joyfulness. You have the most infectious laugh and delight in the world around you and the people you know. And we delight in you.

I really like you. I know that should be a given, but when I found out that your Mom and I were going to have a baby, I wondered secretly how much I would like having a child. Don’t get me wrong, I always knew I would love you, but it’s no secret that I’m not the biggest fan of little kids. I was scared that when you were born the responsibilities that came with raising you would overwhelm me, that sleepless nights and spit-up and poopy diapers would be too much for me to handle. I’m glad that I felt those things because it gave God a perfect opportunity to teach me about how foolish my worries and assumptions can be. Not only do I love you with all of my heart, I really, really like you too. You are such a neat little person. You are an absolute pleasure and it is one of my highest privileges to know you.

You constantly surprise me. One of the best things about knowing you is that I get to learn more and more about you with each passing day, and many of the things I learn I would have never expected. When you were a newborn, and I first felt you kick when I was holding you, I couldn’t believe you managed to stay in Mommy’s tummy for as long as you did (and I had newfound empathy for what Mommy went through carrying you!) When you were about 7 months old, I gave you pepper jack cheese with some egg when Mommy wasn’t looking, just to see what you would do, and was shocked learn that you (just like me!) love spicy food. When I came home from a long day of work, and your Mom said to me, “Look at this,” and then told you, “Walk, Addie! Walk, walk, walk!” and you did, I could hardly contain myself. A few days ago, I was reading you a book and for the first time without provocation, you turned your head and leaned in and gave me a big wet kiss right on the mouth. That will forever be one of my happiest memories. I hope that I will be able to help you make your own memories that are as good as this one.

You are a little smarty! You pick up everything with such ease! Addie, I have no doubt that whatever you want to do with your life, you have been given the capacity to do it. You have been blessed with an amazing ability to learn and understand, and as lofty and ridiculous as the concept is, I really think you could change the world somehow (you’ve already changed mine). I pray that in all things I always encourage you to succeed, and allow you room to fail, so that you can grow to become the very best person possible.

You are beautiful. I don’t want to be someone who raises you to think that physical beauty is important, and God knows you’re going to get plenty of attention and outside influences when you get older that I’ll have to contend with... But I do want you to know that I think you’re absolutely gorgeous, and that just looking at you makes me happy. That will never change.

I am so proud of you. I didn’t expect that I would be one of those dads who were prone to showing off his children. Truth is, I’m pretty humble, or at least reserved, when it comes to things that might be interpreted as boasting. I’m not typically one to “toot my own horn,” and often resort to self-deprecating humor to mask some of my insecurities or fish for a compliment. But if I am proud of anything, I am proud of my amazing little girl. I show you off and talk about you whenever I have the chance, and to anyone who will listen. I know there will be times later in life where you will lapse in judgment, and I’m sure at some point down the road I will find myself disappointed because of something you do. But I will never, ever not be proud that you are my daughter; I will always be endlessly humbled that God trusts me to be your daddy.

Happy birthday, Baby Girl! I love you and I'm excited to get to know you better as the days and years go by.

First Good Fruit from Walmart!

2008-07-28T13:19:00.006-05:00

Walmart has terribly bland, tasteless and just plain "blah" produce. Compared to every other retailer that I can remember having visited, save for this little Mexican Food retailer in Harvard that has way too many flies, its just not very good. However, its super-cheap, so that's where I usually get my fruits & veggies. (There's no Sprouts around these parts.)

Today, for the first time that I can remember, I ate a piece of fruit from Walmart that was good: A California white nectarine. In fact, I'm so close to being positive that this nectarine was actually delicious and not just beyond my lowered expectations for Walmart-bought fruit, I've decided to share this with the world (read: the4 people who read this blog). This is a photo of a white nectarine from the website of the grower listed on the little PLU sticker that I had to peel off before taking a bite.

That's really all I have to say. Go Walmart! Low price and high quality is an amazing concept.

Pretzels and French Fries

2008-07-16T11:22:00.005-05:00

What is the deal with pretzels? A pretzel is pretty simple- wheat flour, yeast, water, salt, and not much more. But have you ever seen something that while essentially the same can at once be presented in so many seemily arbitrary different forms?

I went to Wal-mart yesterday to do our grocery shopping, and encountered the following "types" of pretzels. I'm not talking about different flavors, filled with peanut butter, or salted or not, and I won't count soft pretzels. I'm just talking about the "regular" pretzels that show up in the chips aisle in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I counted 13 varieties of essentialy the same product:

Regulars (the "standard" knot-shape)
Thins (skinny regulars)
Bavarian - knot-shaped but thicker
Mini's (knot-shaped like the regulars but smaller)
Bite-sized (mini-mini's, like what you get when you fly Southwest)
Rods
Logs, which are like short pretzel Rods
Dipping-sticks (which are like logs but about half as thin)
Sticks
Nuggets or Nibblers, which are like quartered logs but split open in the middle
O's
Waffel-shaped (e.g. "Snaps")
Though i didn't see this at the store yesterday, I do recall at some point in my life seeing little star-shaped pretzels, so I'm going to count that one too.

French fries have a similar distribution of variety in shape while essentially being the same thing (fried pieces of potatoes). There are regular, steak fries, crinkle cut, waffle cut, curly, wedges and more. I don't really have any underlying point I'm trying to make here, I'm just curious: How is it that the American consumer has demanded space for such a variety in pretzels and fries?

"Loved by All"

2008-07-16T11:02:00.009-05:00

I was driving home from work yesterday, and I saw a sign - one of those with exchangable letters - outside a local business. It said, "Rich Neumann - Loved by all."

Clearly a statement in memoriam of this individual's life, I thought, what a wonderful way to be remembered. Not "We will miss you," or "Rest in Peace," but "Loved by all."

Realizing this is of course an impossible literal achievement, and that striving to be "loved" could lead to disasterous results, there was still something plainly beautiful about this to me. I think the hidden message is that one who recognized as being "loved by all" must certainly have in many ways exemplified love in their lifetime in order to garner such a compliment.

If we live as Chirst commanded, i think the resulting paradox is that we would be loved by many, but also hated by many. When I read this sign, I thought of my old pastor & friend, Brad.

Most of the people I know, myself included, love Brad because of the way he has shared his life in the name of God. But the same convictions and values that he possesses that have inspired such reverence are the same things that caused him to be fired from a pastoral job he was extraordinarly effective at, and have caused some people to harbor intense negative feelings - hatered - toward him. While it is hard for me to imagine someone more loved by so many people, there are (sadly) many people out there that despise him for his imperfections.

Maybe a more desireable epitaph would be "Loved all." Let the cards fall where they may.

I really wish I were cooler

2008-07-10T11:18:00.013-05:00

The people who's blogs I read all seem very cool and interesting and artistic and smart. It is not infrequent that I read someone's blog and wish that I had something similarly cool, interesting, artistic or smart to write about. John makes murals and writes books and teaches the ghetto, Kyle & Anna are in grad school & travel all over Colorado, Andrew makes bikes and hugs people all the time, Christy has managed to finance the war effort, Quinn makes poetry and has a Qube that is named after him, Dustin & Katie run a church and have scientifically cloned themselves into cute little mini-trammels. Other people do other cool things too, I'm pretty sure.

I feel like I don't really do anything. I wake up and go to work and come home and do it again the next day. At night, I play with Addie before she goes to bed then watch a Cubs game while Sarah does homework. Its my own fault, I know. I should probably be reading or something. anyway, I'm not soliciting for your pity, but its funny because it is reflected in my blog. I think my last three or four posts have been about baseball or something equally trivial. I feel like I've let myself get in a personal rut on a lot of different levels. When that becomes evident to me, I usually stop blogging for a while.

I still feel like I'm in a rut, but I guess I've decided to update my blog anyway. I don't have any successful projects to report, cool books or music to review, or anything intellectual to comment on. Regardless, here are some random things going on in my life. (No photos for any of these yet, maybe I'll update that later.)

1. Sarah has been really, really sick all week. We took her into urgent care on Sunday for some pretty severe kidney pain. At first they suspected she had a kidney infection, and indeed the evidence seemed to support that. 3 office visits, a blood workup and a CT scan later, they don't seem to know what is going on. Sarah woke me up a few nights ago and told me she thought she was going to die. It was an in-the-moment comment when she was suffering a lot of pain, but still not the kind of thing you want to hear your wife say. The doctors are talking about the possibility of hospitalizing her if things don't improve soon. We are hoping & praying it doesn't come to that, as it would be very hard on Sarah's psyche. My sister-in-law, Mary, has been really awesome with helping out & my work has been very accomodating of my needing to help take care of Sarah, but its been a difficult week for me. I can only imagine how difficult its actually been for Sarah.

2. I got a promotion/raise at work. This was a huge financial blessing for my family, especially in a time of personal and national economic hardship. My raise was good, and was made effective April 1, which means that on my next check I should be getting 3 months of retro-pay. I am praying that this will get us through the summer until Sarah starts working. Next step: pay down the enormous pile of debt we've accumulated over the last year since Sarah has been home with our little Chunker.

4. A lot of people at my work got screwed. We have annual review cycles where people are supposed to get raises based on the work rating that they achieved the past year. I work with some very smart, talented people who got excellent reviews, but did not get fairly compensated for what they are doing. As I mentioned, I got a pretty decent raise, and felt really guilty about this for a while. It impeded upon my ability to really appreciate how awesome it was that I was so fortunate. I still really wish that some of the other folks at my work were treated better, but there's not really anything I can do about it, so its not beneficial for me to dwell on this.

4. Sarah doesn't let me talk about our finances publicly. For some reason, I think it would be somewhat thereputic to me to publicly layout our current struggles, where we are with our debt and how we plan to get out of it, and some of our financial plans for the future. I would like to tell you that I x dollars debt, and its because we make y dollars per month, and these are our z expenses. Maybe I somehow think that would help me feel more acocuntable to making our goals. Either way, Sarah thinks this is too personal to share with others. Thus, I have to respect her wishes. It probably wouldn't really be that freeing anyway, but I wonder the prevailing thought of most people is that finances are such a secret/personal issue. I don't really feel that way.

5. I haven't been to church in a long time. A really long time. Like at least a couple months. I'm in a huge spiritual rut and only intermittently feel passionately motivated to get out of it, which is total crap cos God has been really good to us lately. I know "going to church" doesn't define one's spirituality, but I think it's often a reflection of it. At least for me it is. I really miss having a Christian community to be involved in, and I feel like I don't have any Christian peers that I relate to very well. A lot (read: probably all) of this is my fault. It needs to end.

6. I still really want to move back to Phoenix. With the economy and housing market the way it is right now, I don't realistically see this happening for about 2 years. At first, I was really frustrated with that, but now I think maybe that is for the best. We can pay off our debts and get some money saved for a new place without having to sink ourselves any deeper. I don't even know if my work would allow me to transfer out there or not, and I probably won't have that conversation for a while anyway. I'd love to stay with the same company if possible; I really like my job and it would have the added benefit of making moving a much smoother transition. That's all in the future anyway, so I guess I won't worry about it yet.

7. My %^!@#$ backroom is still unfinished. This is the same room that we've been working on since April when we had some problems with the ceiling. My dad and brother have been awesome and have helped me work on it several times. Still, it feels like the project that will never end. Right now, its drywall that needs to be sanded, primed & painted, carpet & tile need to be installed, molding, baseboards and trimwork needs to be done. I'm admittedly unskilled at all of these things, and it frustrates me tremendously to have all this unfinished work and only a dim light at the end of the tunnel. I don't have a lot of time to work on it; I really only have the weekends. Sarah is usually either sick or has classwork & I have to take care of Addie. I have zero dollars to buy additional materials needed to complete the project. To top that all off, my in-laws are coming in two weeks. I'm really excited to see them, but I'm ashamed that our place is in such disarray. They will tell me that its not that big of a deal, but that doesn't really make me feel any less embarassed. If I had any freed-up money at all I would use it to pay someone to finish the work for me. My dad correctly points out that when its done, I'll probably be proud of having completed the project Right now, its just frustrating though.

Stuff Like This

2008-06-17T21:43:00.005-05:00

{This blog removed on orders of the administrator's wife.}

Notice: Sarah is Dying

2008-06-16T20:47:00.005-05:00

You guys should have seen Sarah puking multiple times between 3 and 4 this morning. It was awesome, if you consider the literal meaning of the word "awesome."

Gameday!

2008-06-12T16:44:00.003-05:00

When I'm at work, I generally cannot turn on the tv or radio to catch an afternoon Cubs game, so I use MLB Gameday instead to track the game. Usually, i just click over everynow and again to check the score. But right now, its the bottom of the 11th inning, cubs up, and things are tied up with 3 men on an no outs. Have you ever tried to "watch" a baseball game using streaming statistics? For those of you who don't love baseball, this probably sounds WAY more boring than watching baseball on TV (which is probably already agnoizingly painful enough to you). For those of you who, like me, can't wait to see the Cubbies take it all this year, this is a very stressful way to take in a ball game, just waiting for the number to update.

UPDATE: CUBS WIN (again!)

Here’s a Post Where I'm Real Negative and Whine Like a Stereotypical Middle Class White Dude While Simultaneously Creating The Longest Blog Title Ever

2008-06-06T15:19:00.013-05:00

Ever since Sarah and I started talking about moving, I have been paying more attention to the housing market, since for us to move, we would need to both sell and purchase a new house. I know, I know… I shouldn’t bitch or worry because we could be in a worse situation – facing foreclosure, or living in squalor somewhere. But I like to be able to plan for things financially, and this stupid housing market slide coupled with its evil twin in the energy/consumer staples price increase makes that nearly impossible.

Sarah & I don’t have any money. When Sarah stopped working after Addie was born, things got pretty tight. Now, technically, we have liabilities but no assets. That’s okay, because we still eat every day and we have a roof over our head and a beautiful daughter, so our life isn’t exactly crying out for pity. Plus, Sarah’s going back to work in August (God willing), so I see things turning around in terms of cash flow in the future. Sarah doesn’t ever want me to talk about our money to other people so I’ll just go ahead and stop doing that before I get myself in trouble. Anyway, the reason I bring it up is because we don't have cash, we would need to rely on our investments - namely equity we have in our house - in order to move.

Sarah and I are pretty sure that we would like to move back to Phoenix. Ostensibly, I see it happening in the next 2-3 years. Sarah has a belief that it will happen sometime next summer (Sarah is generally more optimistic than I am.) However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it will actually be able to happen. The problem is, we used to have equity in our house, but I’m really not so sure this is the case anymore. Without equity in our house, we will not be able to move. If the housing market would level off soon, I wouldn’t be so anxious about it. I just don’t think that is going to happen.

As I’m sure everyone knows, market economies boil down to supply and demand curves that essentially dictate the price of a good or service (more or less). In the housing sector, people got crazy both as buyers and sellers, and the supply and demand curves seemed to find equlibrium at unprecidented prices. it didn't make a lot of sense economically and a bubble began to sweel. Further, there was relatively little government involvement in terms of setting prices through the regulations of its accompanying financial markets.

Pretty much, our government allowed housing prices to balloon in order to provide a short term boost in the wake of the dot-com bubble bursting and the September 11th terrorist attacks. The Fed slashed its short-term rates, borrowing money became cheep and this trend precipitated to the housing market. Lenders, many of whom were predatory and unethical, offered creative and enticing loan options. They took on borrowers with low credit and no income verification, who were for all practical purposes not qualified to pay a mortgage. Borrowers acted like idiots and signed up for highly-speculative adjustable rates so they could live in $500,000 houses on $45,000/year salaries.

It didn’t matter much to the lenders because they just packaged the loans into mortgage-backed securities and sold them off to banks, pension funds, foreign bodies, and all sorts of other stuff they wouldn’t be held responsible for. These institutions assumed the risk because a) the real estate sector had historically be a safe investment, and b) The stupid lassie-faire Bush economic policies allowed/encouraged investment firms to re-sell these highly speculative investments. When rates reset, borrowers stopped being able to pay, and huge financial institutions began to crumble under the weight of substantially depreciated portfolios. Blah, blah, blah…

So anyway, I’m pissed because now I have to suffer (I am not unaware of the unnecessary hyperbole here) the consequences brought about stupid investors, unethical banks, greedy, uninformed Realtors® and our idiotic, shortsighted government. Even though the Chicago area isn’t hit as hard as “big bubble” areas like Nevada, Arizona, California & Florida, we still are stuck with pretty much nothing in terms of equity. We saved for 2 years to scrape together money for a down payment, and now that money is pretty much lost. Yeah, it’s a good time to buy a house, but only if you have the cash on hand to do it.

You used to be able to count on stable, moderate, appreciation of home prices to afford you the money you needed to buys a new place, but now, the opposite is true: The depreciating value of our house is forcing us to stay. The market is being sucked downward by foreclosures and short-sales, where a plethora of below-market sell-offs. Inventories are at all time highs, and prices won’t begin to approach stabilization until inventories start to dwindle. This won’t happen anytime soon because foreclosures are still at record levels. Then, when the market does level off, it could take years to recoup equity losses to a point where we could break even. I hope I’m wrong.

So, all this to say, I think we’re staying here for a while, whether we like it or not. Our economy has a history of resilience, and Sarah says we’ll be fine, but I’m not so sure. I feel that i have sufficiently vented now though, so I'm more open to the idea than I was 20 minutes ago, i guess.

On a related note, you should listen to this really interesting story about how/why sub-prime mortgages became so prevelant. Its about mortgage backed securities and their relationship to the "global pool of money." I heard it on the radio about a month ago & it is way more interesting that it sounds. It summarizes the housing crisis in a way I never could, so spend 13 minutes to listen to it. Seriously, you will like this.

Today I Am Having an Unusually Strong Craving for...

2008-05-30T11:53:00.003-05:00

If I could, I would order a Green Chile Burrito, two Beef Tacos and extra salsa. Easy choice for my last meal. Seriously the best ever.

What to do, what to do...

2008-05-27T09:36:00.013-05:00

I'm have some time right now & figured I'd update my blog. (On a side note, I've realized just now that I probably overuse elipsies in my blog titles)

As Sarah mentioned in a recent post, we have been thinking and talking a lot lately about where we are going to be living in the not-too-distant future. The housing slump has left us with no equity in our home right now, so we don’t have the assets to do anything immediately, but we’re trying to think to the future a bit, focusing on the next 2 – 4 years.

We live in Woodstock now, and there are a lot of things I really love about it. We have a beautiful town square that has really charming resturants, stores and events like farmers' markets, music and festivals. My side of the family all lives in the area, so it is great to be in close proximity to them. We have four distinct seasons and a beautiful environment. We have mass transit options to Chicago which is an amazing place to work and visit. There are cool old houses and a lot of "character." In a lot of ways, I really love Woodstock.

In fact, living here has given me some really awesome opportunitites. I got to know my family - specifically my brother and sister - a lot better than I did when I lived in Arizona. I went through some counseling at our church that helped me get through some pretty severe depression. I finished my bachelors and got a really awesome job where i've learned a ton and gotten really great experience that I'll be able to take with me anywhere. I reacquainted myself with Maxwell Street Polishes and Italian Beef. I've even met some pretty cool people who I wouldn't otherwise have met. So, I can't say it's been a bad experience - far from it in many ways.

However, there are a lot of things that are frustrating about living in small town USA as well. I don't want to spend a lot of time enumerating all of them because it just seems like that would end up with me feeling negative. Regardless of what we end up doing I want to try to stay positive with our current situation - something I did not do when we moved from Phoenix to Illinois, which I look back upon with regret.

I don't want to be one of those families that moves around every 4 or 5 years, so I want to think hard about where our next move is, becauseI would like it to be perminant - or at least as much so as I have control over. Right now, we have three main options that we are considering:

Stay in Woodstock/Crystal Lake area
Move back to the Phoenix/Glendale area
Move somewhere totally new - Denver/Littleton has been our primary area of discussion here

We have family in all of these places, and it feels really crummy to "pick" which ones we will live nearest to. I don't want that to over-influence our decision, but its hard not to feel guilty about it, even if its an unintentional consequence that by living one place, certain family members aren't going to be around. On the plus side, it seems that no matter where we move, it would be possible for me to keep my job (I do IT consulting & my company has a pretty wide footprint & client base), so I'm very fortunate in that regard, although who knows what the situation will be a few years down the road. Sarah is looking at starting her Master's pretty soon, and from what I understand she'd have a pretty wide array of opportunities in any of the aforementioned locales upon her successful completion of her degree.

So what do we do? Right now, I think we are favoring moving back to the West Valley in Phoenix. It feels strange because when we left I was very (albeit probably unjustifiably) bitter against that area, and almost certain that we would never return. I do not like the heat or the ubiquitous brown smog cloud, or the "sameness" of the weather, lanscape and housing developments; and I will always root for the Cubbies over the Diamondbacks. But for some reason, when I think about "home" it sort of feels like that is where it is to me. I've been back only a few times to visit, but each time I feel like - for better or worse - I was visiting "home." Besides, they have way better mexican food.

There is a lot for us to consider, and our timing would be contingent on the stablization of the housing market, and other things like Sarah finishing school and/or being able to transfer, but the thought has definitely played a prominant role in our thoughts as of late. There is a lot more to it, which I won't spend the time summarizing here. I would miss my family terribly, but I'm pretty sure that they would visit us if we got a place with a pool.

You know you've reached another stage of life when...

2008-05-27T09:28:00.002-05:00

The song stuck in your head is from your kid's cartoons instead of your favorite radio station.

Sweeney Todd

2008-05-23T21:16:00.007-05:00

Dan: If you go to the store, you should rent a movie.

Sarah: Okay.

It is hard to believe that something so horrible could be spawned from such innocent words. Right now, I am watching (well, technically, I'm not watching) Sweeney Todd. It won a bunch of awards. It is about a British barber who kills people by slicing their necks and then he makes human-pot-pies out of them. And, he is in love. Then he sings about it. And its all Tim-Burton-fancy-sad-colors.

Horrible.

Sarah must be mad at me.

Sarah Didn't Say So, But..

2008-04-18T22:12:00.009-05:00

Dang, I've been making her some good eggs lately.

.

Sunday's Omlet: Tomato, spinach, onion, garlic, cracked pepper, feta

Friday's Omlet: Broccoli, potato, Onion, green pepper, garlic, fresh oregano, montery jack

Nothing quite beats patting yourself on the back.

Our Stupid Back Room

2008-04-13T12:43:00.038-05:00

Those of you who read my wife's blog know that we recently started what was suppoesd to be a brief remodel project that turned into a huge undertaking costing way more in time and money than we had planned. Thankfully, my brother and dad have been a huge help, and we've actually made some recent advances. Up until now I've been feeling too frustrated with the situation to try to document it, but we made some progress yesterday and I've had a few cups of coffee, so I figured I'd use this space to bring the story up to speed.

So Addie is super-crazy and is crawling all over the place and pulling herself up on everything. Since all the rooms in our house have all wood floors glued to a concrete slab (not the best surface to practice standing & walking) we decided to put in some carpet in one of our rooms so Addie would be less likely to end up in the emergency room. The wood in the back living room was pretty trashed anyway from our (former) dog and the several dogs that lived here before us, so this ended up being the most obvious choice.

I decided to (once again) forgo spending Home Depot cards I got for christmas and my birthday money on myself, so that we could get the carpet installed with little money out of pocket. (If Sarah would let me provide details about how rediculously bad we are doing financially, I would do so here, and you would be awestruck). Since we would be taring out the floors, we also bought some nice-looking slate tile to go by the entry way and to cover a 30-year old fireplace harth. We aranged to have my parents watch Addie for a Sunday afternoon, and got started working.

I had recently put down carpet in our guest bedroom, and didn't expect the activity to take more that 6-8 hours from demo to completion. I was wrong. While removing some trimwork, we inadvertantly knocked a small hole in the ceiling, which in turn lead us to discover that there was little more than an inch of cotton and a layer of mouse turds insulating the room. We realized that we would need to repair the ceiling as well, and given the situation, we decided that it would be better to take the whole thing down to the studs and clean out/reinsullate before we put in the carpet. In a way, we thought, this would be good since that room was always freezing cold in the winter and, the ceiling was actually some really ugly (but sparkley!) pressed cardboard tiles (an up-close picture of one appears to the left), suspended with staples to strips of 1x2s.

Unfortunately, we ran into several problems along the way. I won't spend countless paragraphs ennumerating all of them, but here is a sampling. (Sorry, I didn't take photos of everything, but tried to include something related when possible) :

Two different ceiling heights (one sloping slightly more than the other) due to two seperate additions that were made to our house without consideration for uniformity. This was previously hidden by a faux beam. I knew there was a difference before, but it really became obvious when whe got the old ceiling out. The picture below looks worse than it is (the gap is about 2 inches at the widest spot), but it still is pretty crummy.
The amount of debris generated was so great that we had to rent & fill a 4 cubic yard dumpster ($169 extra cost).
The rafters (this is a flat-roof addition) were 2x6's which, at maximum allow for R-19 insulation to be installed. While this will be over 9 times more R-value that the previous insullation (a picture of which is below), the roof really should have been built with 2x10s so that we could install an R-value in the 30's, which is more appropriate for a cold-weather winter climate.
In one large section of the room, the rafters join right up to the soffits of the existing structure and are tacked in quite haphazzardly with 2x4s. This construction does not allow us to have any insullation in this space (there was none previously either).
There is a hole in the roof that is patched with a No Parking sign. Seriously. Not surprisingly, this patch is not working; small amounts of water get through during heavy rains. Due to the nature of the problem, I will have to correct it from the top, and will try to takle that project at the end of the month.
I can only guess that the wiring was strung together by some dude's dog, since there is no possible way a human being could do such a terrible job. Not a single wire was secured to a board, most if it lying loose in the space between the rafters and the dropped-ceiling. Wires zig-zagged across the room, there were two or three that were severed, and something like 7 outlets tied into a single circuit. I'm not real sure about what is and isn't up to code, but I can almost guarantee that we found several violations.

Speaking of the wiring, in demoing the ceiling, we lost power to an adjoing room. We had to cut away a board 20 inches deep into a practically inaccessable 3' fireplace cavity to get to the problem, which you can see below. This creepy spider looking thing is actually the exact wiring (no tape, clips or other protection) that was hanging out of a junction box, exposed to combustables, and used to link a bedroom to the living room. It was loose and not making a thorough connection, which is why we weren't getting any juice to the bedroom. Its sort of hard to tell in this picture, but some of the copper wire had actually begun to melt because of the resistance caused by the poor wire job. It is probabaly a blessing that we had the problem so that we discovered this before it burned our house down.

Anyway, all of this stuff, and a few other things, caused a lot of extra work for us. It took my brother & me all day last Sunday and Monday to get everything demoed and prepared to get the drywall up. My dad had to come over yesterday (Saturday) and help figure out the electricty mess, and get it cleaned up and safe. We finally started making progress, and by 5:00 PM had the drywall up on the ceiling. Next steps are to drywall over the ugly wood paneling on the walls, tape up the drywall, paint, box in & lay down the tile, and then lay down the carpet. I'm hoping just a few more weekends of work and we'll have a once again livable room. It might be a little goofy looking at the end, but it will hopefully be better than before.

Green Bologna

2008-04-13T12:15:00.003-05:00

Its a bit hypocritical for me to do this, since I really, really hate when people make a blog that just links to an external artical, but I'm going to go ahead and take that plunge anyway. I'm not sure of all the details behind this, but I'm thrilled to see that someone is trying to take action against a person I consider to be (quite literally) one of the most evil people in government. Who knows what will come of this (probably just political posturing), but I'd love to see Arpaio get torn to peices. http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2008/04/13/20080413gordonarpaio0413.html

Be Wary of Guys Who Look Like This

2008-04-10T08:43:00.004-05:00

(From the front page of the Northwest Herald, 4/9/2008.)

So I caught the last 20 Minutes of American Idol Tonight...

2008-04-01T20:02:00.002-05:00

I figured it would be a pretty lame, but holy crap, that show is terrible.

God Damn America?

2008-03-20T13:53:00.015-05:00

So, there has been a lot of talk in the news about Rev. Jeremiah Wright's (Obama's Pastor) comments he made a few years back, but I haven't really heard many of my friends/family talk about it. We're normally a fairly politically-minded bunch, so I'm curious what you guys think; I figured I'd offer my opinion in an attempt to start a conversation.

Prior to doing so, I submit the following disclaimers/admissions/whatever:

1. I believe the United Church of Christ to be theologically flawed.

2. Those of you who know me well know that I am not exactly a huge fan of America; Specifically, I am adamantly opposed to many (if not most) of the actions our country has taken under the Bush administration. However, I hold a general disdain for our Nation’s historical & present treatment of not-wealthy non-white males. In the simplest terms, I believe that our current government is in many ways oppressive and unfair.

3. Based on the aforementioned point you might jump to the conclusion that I hate America. I do not hate America. I hate our hypocrisy, I hate our haughtiness, I hate our sin. I do not, however, hate our people.

4. I do not fully understand the context in which this sermon was given, as I have not heard it in its entirety.

5. I’m not so much curious about Obama’s decision to distance himself from Wright, rather I’d like to better understand the overall reaction many Americans seem to be having to the Reverend’s comments.

6. My opinion are pretty strong, but I’m willing to change my mind.

Here is the portion of Wright’s speech that has caused so much controversy:

“The government gives [poor black Americans] the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law, and then wants us to sing God bless America? No, no, no! Not God bless America! God damn America! -- it's in the Bible -- for killing innocent people! God damn America for treating her citizens as less than human! We bombed Hiroshima! We bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye. We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians, and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back into our own front yards! America's chickens are coming home to roost.”

Okay, so I'll just lay it out there: On a very fundamental level, I'm not so sure the things Wright professes aren't correct. Without launching into a full-fledged defense of his statements, I believe the following to be a summary of his major points (bolded). I’ve included some of my basic thoughts as fodder:

1. Our government treats Blacks fundamentally differently that Whites. We’ve got a pretty well-documented history here and plenty or current examples of this as well. I’m not sure how anyone could provide a rational claim to the contrary.

2. Our government supplies Blacks with drugs: I confess that I am not educated enough to speak intelligently to this specific topic. Perhaps Wright was speaking hyperbolically here, perhaps he was speaking literally. Does anyone know more about this?

3. Our legal system is slanted against Blacks and favors punishment as opposed to rehabilitation as a general rule. Again, there is substantial evidence (both statistically and analogically) to support this, both in historical and current contexts. We who so ardently claim to be a Christian nation are all too quick to “lock ‘em up and throw away the key.” Rarely do we show mercy to those who have offended our law. Evidence shows that it is much more so rare when the offender is a non-White. Yet Christ himself demonstrates compassion and mercy to murderers, thieves, adulterers and all sorts of violators. I am not positing that prison has no place in our society, nor am I suggesting that all criminals can be “fixed.” There is a place for punishment in our society. What bothers me is the way we view punishment as an end solution to a problem, rather than a step in correcting a problem. The Land of the Free has more prisoners per capita than any other industrialized nation. Simultaneously, we also have among the highest rates of violent crimes. The system is broke.

4. Our government uses religion, specifically Christianity, as a call to nationalism, even jingoism. The ties between nationalism and Christianity are strong in American culture. Marx famously called religion the opiate of the masses; I’m not so sure he’s right. It seems like it is often used oppositely, as a stimulant. So often it is fed in select, measured doses, inspiring irrational albeit enthusiastic groupthink and eliciting rallying cries in support of actions and ideals deemed correct by this nation's leaders (holding their dripping syringes!) regardless of what the core tenants of the Faith actually set forth. Christianity, when understood in its entirety, proves to be so diametrically opposed to the fundamental principles of our nation that it would be laughable, were it not so devastatingly harmful. We are forced from a young age to stand daily and pledge our allegiance to a flag representing a “nation under God.” By the time we are old enough to think about what this actually means, we’ve already established so concrete an association between America and God that to doubt the action of the nation would be akin to doubting God himself. Burn a flag in protest? You might as well be burning a cross, the offense is so high! We build, literal, physical walls at our boarders, and treat immigrants not as second class citizens, but as second-class people. We prioritize legalism over love. Compassion plays second chair to ego. Aggressiveness is a greater virtue than patience. Our leaders and thinkers have manufactured “Just War” theories based on skewed Biblical principals so that we, in the name of Democracy (which has, to many people, cleverly become a term nearly synonymous with “God Almighty”) can plunder the nations of the earth as we violently pursue capitalistic endeavors without feeling a tinge of guilt. Americanism ≠ Christianity. If I am asked to sing God Bless America, America (My Country ‘Tis of Thee), the Star Spangled Banner, or any other patriotic anthem in church one more time, I swear I’m going to throw up in the pew.

5. Given the historical truth that American has killed, oppressed, ignored or otherwise conspired against the poor & the innocent, we should not be singing God Bless America, rather we should declare God Damn America for the sins we have committed. This declaration can be backed up Biblically: Wright is not calling for every American to spend an eternity in hell. He is using a play on words to illustrate a very important and poignant issue. God feels very strongly about nations that turn their backs to his commandments. Assuming that Wright had to take some Old Testament classes before he was ordained, he understands the meaning of national damnation from a biblical point of view. One professor at the U of C Divinity school here in Chicago points out that this sort of damnation refers to “… a sacred condemnation by God to a wayward nation who has strayed from issues of justice, strayed from issues of peace, strayed from issues of reconciliation." We as a nation are so quick to cry out to God, begging his blessings, yet we are afraid to face the realities of our actions as a collective people. The Bible actually is pretty clear on this: when nations abandon God, God takes it seriously. The concept of adultery is applied directly and vividly to the nations of Israel when they stray from God. He aches and he becomes angry, though he strives patiently for restoration. Elsewhere in the Bible, we are instructed to examine our hearts so that we might identify our sins, so that ultimately we can repent from them, find peace and receive redemption from God. Rev. Wright’s comments are stirring, I agree. I don’t however think they are much different from anything you would read in the Minor Prophets, or hear from the lips of Isaiah, were that a possibility.

6. America is hypocritical in terms of the standards we set for human rights, war and the handling or terrorism. I challenge anyone to dispute this.

7. We may be getting a taste of our own medicine (having experience terrorist activity): I don’t think Wright is advocating that the terrorist attacks that occurred on 9/11 were right or beneficial, or that he wanted them to occur. (I certainly do not feel that way!) I think Wright is simply (but dramatically) calling out the point that our lies, our hypocrisy, our inhumanity: it has now come full circle. He is also suggesting that recent acts of terrorism may have been God’s judgment upon our nation. I don’t claim to know whether or not this is true or not – indeed God hasn’t shared this with me – but is it impossible? I don’t think that it is. The Bible is pretty clear that God is sovereign over all things, just as it is clear that the world is fallen and people sin against his will by their own free decisions. It has some pretty direct statements about his place in installing the world’s nations and their leaders, the implications of which are challenging to say the least. It illustrates paradoxes revolving around forgiveness and consequence, grace and punishment. It is rife with stories of God acting out his judgment upon both individuals and nations who/that have offended his holiness. Why do we, as Americans, believe we are immune from God’s wrath? Why is this even taboo subject matter?

Shower or Bath?

2008-03-12T20:23:00.010-05:00

So, I've already talked to Sarah about this & I know that I will never change her mind, but I'm curious what others think...

Sarah likes to take baths, and I prefer showers. I understand that baths are probably relaxing to a lot of people, and I think I could make an argument for showers being much more economical. But these things are not my primary concern. I cannot help but think that baths are a horrible way to clean up, given the suprior option to shower.

I'm not OCD or a germaphobe. However, it seems pretty sick to me that, essentially, a bather sits in a static pool of water containing various filth from his or her body and/or the environment, including (but not limited to):

Skin and Dandriff
Trace Amounts of Fecal Matter
Body Oils
Mucas
Coliform Bacteria
Shedded Body/Scalp Hair
Sweat
Remnants of Various Chemicals (Lotion, Perfume/Cologne, Deodorant, Makeup, Et Cetera)
Food/Beverage Trace
Countless other "Dirt" and Germs Acquired via Contact with External Sources

When one showers, these things are also present. However, in the process of showering, this "dirt" is removed from the body and transferred down the drain. The continuous rinsing action innate to showering seems to me to be a much cleaner alternative to bathing. Am I wrong?

Finally, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that the photo above is of a stall that, back in my early twenties, I used to regularly shower in. I was living with 5-8 other guys (depending on the day), who where essentially all a bunch of drunks. I admit that showering here was not likely any cleaner than bathing. If I can find a higher resolution picture, I'll update it, cos it really is worth pondering in its full glory.

Is Sarah the Only Artistic Schlungerdunger?

2008-03-03T14:36:00.002-06:00

No. No she is not.

In homage to the Boo, soon to depart:

Another Week Gone By...

2008-03-02T22:04:00.014-06:00

"You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion"
-G.K. Chesterton

Apparently I have had a tremendously passionate post-pubescent life.

I remember a very specific moment in the 9th grade. Heath/Gym coach John S. (I don't remember his last name, just that it started with an 'S') showed up after the 4-day Thanksgiving break sporting a fuzz upon his face. Several of us snickered and poked fun at him for the measly appearance of his scruff.

Coach was a pretty affable guy however, and took it all in stride. He laughed and told us that he never was able to grow a beard, so he made it tradition to try every Thanksgiving break and see if he couldn't manage a fuller beard than the year prior. Though his attempts never proved fruitful, he always stuck to the tradition. I'm not sure exactly, but I would say that coach was somewhere in his mid-40's when this conversation took place.

The reason I remember that encounter so vividly is because it was actually quite earth-shattering. For the first time in my life, I was informed (and saw living proof!) that not all grown men grow a beard. Until that point in time, I assumed beard growth was inevitable. Each man, I had thought, would at some point between the ages of 13 and 20 become capable of sporting a full beard. Coach John laughingly taught me otherwise.

Now, here I am at age 29 in the same boat, so to speak, that Coach found himself in. Nature simultaneously forbids me from growing a "real" beard, yet curses me to to shave every day (more honestly, maybe every other day) to avoid looking like "Chester the Molester," with a creepy and sporadic sprouting of semi-coarse hair beneath my nose and across my neck. Damn you, nature!

So, just like Coach, I too have developed a tradition, though perhaps not has regular and methodical as his. Every 3 to 4 months, when the mood strikes, I stop shaving for a week. From Sunday-to-Sunday, not a single razor touches my face. And as Coach knew was true for himself, I too don't suppose I'll ever be surprised to to find at the end of my week of relaxed facial hygiene any real change from the previous times. Yet I try.

This photograph at the top of this post, ladies and gentlemen, is one entire week beard growth. Was it overwhelming to view such immense manliness?

Perhaps you do not see anything beard-like in the above photo. For you, weary-eyed reader, I submit the following high-resolution magnification of another photograph I took, as proof of my my sad little neckbeard:

One last thing to note: I don't actually want a beard. Honest. If I could grow a beard, even a nice full one that kept me warm in the winter, I would almost assuredly shave it off. Really, I just want to be able to grow one. This entire post probably speaks to some primal insecurity and I'm okay with sharing that. I just didn't know what else to write about, and I thought this is a pretty silly and wistful tradition. I wonder if anyone else besides me and Coach is afflicted.

And now, I am off to shave...

My Back Hurts

2008-02-25T21:52:00.009-06:00

I suppose that the concept of the household automobile garage evolved somewhat recently from carriage houses. I deduce that, many years ago when carriages were en vogue, one fortunate enough to one horses might wish to separate their carriage house (and the filth and odors that would have undoubtedly accompanied it) from the main house. I think I get that, during the early decades of the 20th century when efficient production lines began to make automobiles affordable enough to be purchased by the masses, the decision to convert a preexisting detached carriage house into a stall for one's newly-acquired car would be a sensible decision.

My house was built in 1963. I was not alive in 1963, but I'm almost positive that the "average American" for whom my cookie-cutter ranch-style tract home was built did not possess intentions of riding a horse and buggy around town for either work or leisure. So why did the people who built my home include a detached (as opposed to an attached) garage?

What were the good people of 1963 thinking? Had they yet to postulate that people would prefer to access their vehicle without having to first step out into the elements? Did they not stop to think that, by placing the garage behind the main dwelling, they would be consuming an unnecessary footprint in one's backyard, which might otherwise be used for play or relaxation? Did they not consider that the extra materials cost of building an entirely separate structure, not to mention the added maintenance that would certainly ensue?

Moreover, (and on nights like tonight, most importantly) did the wise men and women of that day not consider the fact that they were creating 35 extra feet of driveway which would have to necessarily be shoveled in order for one to back out their newfangled automobile to the street? In the Midwest? Where the average homeowner is forced to shovel his drive an average of 800 times during the three winter months?

My house is really small - like 1300 square feet. Does it really need an 80-foot long driveway to a one-car garage? While I suppose this may be a pretty trivial thing to become angry about, it is just plain stupid. And after shoveling yet another time this season (where we are quickly approaching 60 inches of accumulated snow), I'm easily irritated.

Thus, to the individuals and/or corporations who built my house: if you are still alive and/or in business I would like you to know that you are a bunch of jerks.

Dan

One of the Saddest Things I've Ever Done

2008-02-21T13:00:00.001-06:00

Don't make fun. I consider this little guy part of our family.

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwc/pet/581836469.html

No One Puts Baby in the Corner

2008-02-17T12:21:00.001-06:00

Undoubtedly the Best Thing You'll Read Today

2008-02-16T13:22:00.020-06:00

Some random stuff:

I prefer the font Arial when composing nearly anything. San-serif, baby!

I probabaly have to give away the Boo cos he pisses too much. I think I'll just tell the people we end up giving him to that he's "mischievous."

I got tickets to the Chicago Auto Show for my birthday, but wasn't able to go.

Speaking of Birthdays, I'm proud to report that John Menard once again remembered. Thanks for the flashlight, John!

We're supposed to get 6-10 more inches of snow tomorrow.

Hard to believe, but It's not all muscle. I need to lose, um... 32 pounds.

I love hot sauce and hot peppers and stuff. Hillary Clinton mentioned during an interview that she also loves hot peppers and that the capsaicinoids contained within said peppers help keep her healthy and vivacious. (Maybe if we all ate more hot peppers there would be no need for universal health care?)